First Date with the RE

I had my first RE visit yesterday. I'm mid-cycle now, so as expected, we need to wait for a new cycle in order to start testing. I'll call on CD 1 to schedule CD 3 blood work and an u/s and an HSG for sometime CD 5-12. In the meantime, my H will also be doing a SA.


The RE was really easy to talk to, and she explained all of the testing pretty well. At this point, I'm just looking forward to having all of the tests done and getting the chance to sit down with her again to discuss our options. Hopefully the testing doesn't reveal anything too difficult to manage and we'll have a plan for moving forward before the end of July.

Changes

Some big changes are going on around here.


First of all, on the TTC front, I called and made my first RE appointment today. It's been a year since my loss, and almost two years since we started TTC, so it was time. My appointment is next Tuesday, and I'm a nervous wreck, but it's a move in the right direction. Hopefully that brings about some more positive changes in my life.


Second, since starting running about a month ago, I've made so much progress. I was barely able to run a full mile when I started, but now, I'm up to 5 miles! Not only that, but as of this morning, I've lost 9 lbs! I'm so proud of myself, and it's always nice when you start to see the results of your hard work.


This weekend I'm running my first organized 5k, but it's not a race. It's a Freedom Trail tour in Boston, and the guides have you run in between the different stops. I'm really excited about it. It should be a good time! Then, on July 3rd, I'm running my first official 5k race at Gillette Stadium. I'm really looking forward to that one too!


It's been a rough month with anniversaries and what-not, but I'm happy about the changes that I'm making in my life.

This time last year

At this time last year, I was leaving the hospital after my laparoscopic surgery. Every time I've looked at the clock today, I've thought, "This time last year I was....." I also spent probably 3 full minutes looking at my scars this morning and thinking, "How has it been a year since I got these?" And, really, how has it been a year? It doesn't feel like it's been that long since I was pregnant.


 I hate anniversaries like this. I just want it to be tomorrow already.

Time sure does fly.

A year ago today I got my first BFP. Part of me wants to go back and read the excited blog post I wrote that day, but I know that probably wouldn't be a good idea. Going through old emails at work they other day from last May/June made me sick to my stomach. It's probably best to avoid anything I wrote during that time.


 How has it be a year already? That seems crazy to me. I'm dragging my feet about contacting a RE, but I need to do that soon. I have no more excuses not to call. It's been just about a year since my loss and almost two years of TTC. It's time to step up our game.


On a positive note, life has been pretty good lately.  The weather has been beautiful, so I've been spending a lot of time outside, and the H and I went on our first hike of the season last weekend. We'll probably start going on bike rides again soon too. We had so much fun doing that last summer.


I've also started to get into running. I don't run. I mean, I didn't run. I've been an avid gym-goer at different points, but I usually just use the elliptical. I've started running on the treadmill and outside over the last few weeks, and I've been impressed with how quickly I've been able to make progress. Yesterday I ran 2.75 mi. outside in 31 minutes, and today I ran 3 miles on the treadmill in 32 minutes. Not too shabby! I told myself I'd run a 5k when I could do it in less than 35 minutes, and I'm pretty much there already. I didn't think it'd happen so fast!

Today Sucks

I woke up with cramping and a little spotting this morning. I also tested (before I noticed the spotting) and got a BFN. Mother's Day sucks as it is since I've lost both of my grandmothers and my mother, but this year is even harder. I've been TTC for almost 2 years. I should have a 3 1/2 month old, and I should be celebrating my first Mother's Day. Instead, I'm sitting here waiting for my period to show up and avoiding FB because I feel like it won't take much to make me cry today.

On the bright side, today is supposed to be a beautiful, sunny, 80 degree day. I plan to spend the day outside working in my yard. My lawn needs to be mowed, and my flower beds need to be cared for since I haven't touched them since the fall. I'm hoping that enjoying the beautiful weather and making my yard look pretty will help to make me appreciate all of the good things in my life because I'm having a hard time seeing the good right now.

Hey, hey

This has been a bit of a weird cycle for me. It's the first cycle I haven't temped since we started TTC. I decided to take a temping break since we were going to be in Key West from CD 10-14, and with drinking and inconsistent sleep, my temps wouldn't be accurate. I figured those days would be essential in pinpointing O, so I decided not to temp at all this cycle. It's been nice not worrying about it, but now I wish I had the temps to confirm O. I used OPKs, and based on those and other symptoms, I think I ovulated on CD 18 which puts me at 3dpo, but I hate not knowing for sure.

I started thinking today about when I'll probably start testing and realized that it'll be next weekend. Mothers' Day weekend. At the very least, I hope I have a decently long LP this cycle so that my period doesn't decide to show up on Mothers' Day. That would just be cruel. That said, I can't help but think that a BFP on Mothers' Day would be pretty awesome.

No 2014 baby for me

When we started TTC almost 2 years ago, I thought we'd have a 2013 baby. Then that didn't happen, so I had hope for a 2014 baby. I should've had a 2014 baby, but that didn't work out either. Today is CD 1 of cycle 22 (11 since my loss), and now the earliest we could possible have a baby is January 2015.