6 Months Ago (yesterday)

Yesterday marked six months since my surgery. We knew early on that my pregnancy probably wasn't going to last, but after a roller coaster of a month, June 16th was the day that it was officially over. It's hard to believe that was six months ago. I remember it so vividly. Driving myself to the hospital. Sitting in the ER and watching shows like Duck Dynasty for 3 hours before being told I needed surgery. Waiting for my H and it feeling like an eternity before he got there. Being freezing in the pre-op/recovery area while waiting for an OR to become available. The nurse telling me to think happy thoughts while I was being put under the anesthesia. Waking up and crying (for the first time that day) when talking to the nurse about my healing time. It's all so fresh in my mind. It's a day I'll never forget, I'm sure.

My period will likely show up by the end of the week, and I'm pretty upset about it. By cycle 11 in April, I had lost hope of getting pregnant on my own. Then, I did. After the loss, I was hopeful that we'd be able to get pregnant again and that it would be normal. Now, 6 months later, I'm not so sure. I bought into the idea that you're more fertile 6 months after a loss (and 6 months after laparoscopic surgery). Unfortunately, that doesn't appear to be the case for me. Why would it be? I wish the holidays made it easier to deal with these feelings, but it just makes it worse.